what's your mode of transport?
mine is the sun.
when it rises dripping from
the sea when it falls like honey on
the trees when it swallows up
clouds my soul moves with it.
mine is you.
i like fridays, rainy days, proud cats, black & white photographs, children's books, short stories and movies that most people would never see. Music serves me justice on sad days (Adele, The Kooks, Mumford & Sons are gems) and genuine smiles are a must-have.
why can't i stop feeling this way?
1:37:00 PMbop to the top
Friday, December 24, 2004
i don't think that i'll be able to keep up this holiday attitude for long.
for the last few nights, i've been tossing and turning, wondering why i haven't been able to sleep. it suddenly hit me this morning that i'm scared. i'm really scared and worried of being in jc. i mean, would people think that i'm this freak with big hair or that i'm just too childish to be friends with? i'm afraid that i'll clamp up when i get introduced to people, then, they would really think that i AM a freak, who blubbers. a lot. i used to think that i didn't care what others thought of me, but way down, deep inside of me, a voice tells me that i do care. i don't want to eat lunch in a cubicle in the toilet for the whole of the semester just because i don't know anyone that i could sit with.
i gave some advice to mel about how to make friends. but really, if only it was really that simple.
apprehension is slowly creeping up on me as it nears 2 jan.
i'm really scared.
give me the strength that i need to overcome this..