you just might make me believe

what's your mode of transport?
mine is the sun.
when it rises dripping from
the sea when it falls like honey on
the trees when it swallows up
clouds my soul moves with it.

mine is you.
when you lift your eyes
when you look straight ahead
when you try to speak my
heart moves with you.

3:57:00 PM
Friday, July 08, 2005
bop to the top
in sch right now, trying to distract myself from doing any real work work. unsurprisingly, am very succesful. it's freezing cold in the library. like seriously. i can hardly feel my fingers and i'm like typing at a rate of 5 words a min, which is pretty pathetic larh. but i'm trying my hardest to keep myself warm.

going off for a Venture Leadership Course tomorrow. i'm feeling really frightened, almost dreading it, which is so not normal. usually, i'll be damn hyped for a camp. but, i guess this is different.

maybe i'm afraid that they'll find me incompetent or something. but i think what i'm most afraid of is the fact that there might be a solo night walk. i don't think that i'll be able to take a whole kilometre walking in the dark, all alone in the the thick dense forest. i've already gone through not one but THREE solo night walks this year alone. maybe you think that i'm a baby, complaining about a little walk but honestly speaking, for all 3 times, i was incredibly terrified. it doesn't help much that i believe that some things do exist. i guess i'm just afraid of what i might encounter even though i'm really praying my hardest that i won't.

ohkie. i've got to get a grip. my fear is really getting out of hand. i'm feeling defeated even before undergoing the challenge. so what if i'm afraid. i can't let it beat me.

damn it. i'm really scared.

honesty is the best policy