being a neutral party can be a good and bad thing sometimes, depending on the situation. being neutral makes you more objective and less swayed by either camps. that's a good thing i guess. but it also has it's consequence for you end up being in the middle of things without meaning to. it's a horrible feeling for i'm always so afraid that i'll pass down the wrong message to either parties, making the situation even worse.



sometimes i wonder if the path i've taken is the right one. am i right to keep my inner feelings to myself? am i right to restrain myself emotionally? that's what i've been doing these past few days- trying to keep my profile low and letting myself go unnoticed. smiling, showing true joy at having fun, having a sense of contentment, comfort and satisfaction- are getting pretty hard these days. all i can do is just present this positively fake joyful exterior.