you just might make me believe

what's your mode of transport?
mine is the sun.
when it rises dripping from
the sea when it falls like honey on
the trees when it swallows up
clouds my soul moves with it.

mine is you.
when you lift your eyes
when you look straight ahead
when you try to speak my
heart moves with you.

4:36:00 PM
Friday, December 09, 2005
bop to the top
these past few weeks has started to take it's toll on me. i've been either crazily happy, incredibly tired, extremely annoyed, frustrated, given up all hope or just simply enduring.

7- 13 Nov

had quite an experience helping out with the relief efforts at the Scout HQ, the place exactly like my second home [in the meantime, treating my own home like a hotel cos with me coming home late at night and then going to the HQ in the morning]. learnt that while most Singaporeans are really kind souls, there are also those who simply wanted to get rid of all their unwanted stuff, thus, leaving us to sift through a whole mountain of useless items, among them a packet of dhal that some Indian woman gave us [forgot to take the packet home to make curry. wonder if it's still there..]

also, despite it being a charity thing, there were surprisingly a lot of politics involved, as Dickson has mentioned to us many many many times. he was up to his eyebrows buried in emails sent by people who were arguing abt who they shld allocate the responsibility and gratitude to. sometimes, it's just best to concentrate and do the task at hand and not think too much into it. in the words of Nike: Just Do It.

someone shared with me that it was lonely being at the top, cos the higher the leadership ladder you go, the task scope gets even wider and you're more than likely to be misunderstood for whatever actions that you do for those under you aren't as in the loop of things as you are. confusing? yearh, i know. but it kinda makes sense. at least to me.

been there, done that i guess.

it's one of the reasons why i hate being in charge of things- i hate the responsibility that comes with it. but i guess, one has to learn to step up when the situation requires one to.

14- 18 Nov

actually had lectures throughout the whole week, which was extremely useless cos who actually retains information in the holidays anyway?

had a long overdue Cousins' movie night out on that fri [18 nov]
and because SOMEONE [let's not mention names here, just note that it wasn't me] had arrived late to pick up our tix for the much-anticipated Goblet of Fire, the whole lot of us travelled all the way to Clementi to find good seats, which was conveniently near our grandma's btw. by then it was already 11pm. my dad went ballistic when he found out the movie time cos the next day was my kayaking expedition to Sisters' Island. 15 minutes from going into the cinema, my dad called and ordered me to choose: it was either he took me straight home so that i could rest for the expedition OR that i watch the movie and forgo the expedition altogether.

i said i was gonna do both. he hung up on me.

Goblet of Fire was kinda disappointing for the movie didn't flow as smoothly as the previous one- Prisoner of Azkaban. it irks me that the director made it seem as though Hermione seriously liked Harry instead of Ron, with the way she kept jumping into his arms at a moments' notice. and there was NO QUIDDITCH MATCH. what the nonsense was up with that.

but the special effects were great though. and cedric diggory was extremely drool-worthy.

19- 20 Nov

defied my dad. despite me reaching home at 2am on that sat morn, i made sure that i made it to Kallang by 8am. which i did. whatever experience that i had, i'll post it soon cos this entry is long enough already.

anyway, all in all, KETS was great fun. at least i didn't drown. [btw, did u know that i've no idea how to swim?]

21 Nov

had more council work. in preparation for my principal's farewell assembly/concert on 30 Dec. basically sat down at the reception booth most of the time.

met up with most of my dear SMSS PLC 03/04 that evening. had a great time. thanks truckloads girls. really needed that. =D

oh, and i must assure those concerned that it's really really really over with the indonesian. Really! got cured through a later event which i shalt inform when i meet you people online.

22 -23 Nov

Council Retreat!

learnt to play mahjong, bridge, taiti, spit and bluff all within 2 days. and played pool for a pathetic 2nd time this year. still suck at it though.

other than games, through the activities conducted by the council teachers, learnt a lot about patience and teamwork and that just simply saying that you are gonna try to do your best isn't just good enough. also, sometimes, we have to take a step back and survey the situation at hand for there will be times when you're too close to the problem that solving it gets too complicated. and to trust and take in comments and critisms, for other people can see your blind spots better than you.

24- 25 Nov

More rehearsals. and learnt the 28th SC Mass Dance! extremely dizzying and complicated at first but incredibly fun when i finally kinda knew the whole routine.

26 - 28 Nov

Pre Jamboree Camp at Sarimbun! Ox was pretty smart to make us travel to the camp within our patrols cos it was the first time that all of us had truly seen and talked to one another. eventful lunch with Ka Foo regurgititating his coleslaw back into the container when idiot Wei Hao suggested that we wait til everyone got their food before we eat. and also, an extremely disgusting discussion revolving around whether or not there was such a thing as decomposed cheese, when it's actually considered by the majority at the table as already kinda decomposed milk. all this went on, while i almost choked on my Cheese Fries. Boys will be boys.

learnt that watermelon serves as a great face cooler [courtesy of Ox, who smashed a slice into his face]; that it's a good idea to bring along your handphone for camp for you never know when you may need to call your mom to ask the recipe for making a quick vegetable soup for a dinner for over 20 people; that Marc is a lousy official cook but he'll still remain our patrol's official cook anyway (: ; that we girls are just as capable as any guy; that it's extremely great being 1 of the 3 girls going for a scouts jamboree for we get to have the toilet and a huge tent all to ourselves; that it's not really that great that your cousin is going to the jamb with you for you'll most likely get bullied some time; and finally, i learnt, on the last meal of the camp, that i was sitting under a bug's nest the whole time.


honestly felt that our troop didn't too badly with the lack of leaders. i mean, at least we didn't exactly lagged too far behind the other 2 troops who had leaders of their own. there were, of course, some things which we need to look into again like most of the PLC's lack of skills and i think, in maintaining an overall sense of belonging not only to the troop but to the whole contingent as well. but the other leaders aren't making the latter particularly easy for it seems as though there's some sort of disparity among the leaders.

sigh. more politics.

29 Nov

Final Rehearsal for the Farewell the next day. Found out that i was gonna be broadcasting my wonderful voice through the PA.

30 Nov

Had fun making announcements on the school's PA system. not that everyone could hear me anyway. but at least i was doing something.

helped out with the ushering of the guests. depending on another CCA to usher is so not a good idea and in Sweez words, the only people whom you can trust to do a job properly is your own council peeps.

1 - 5 dec

resting period. went to johore on 3 dec. convinced that i had flu after taking my flu jab. watched 4 VCDs in one day.

7 dec- today

had to go to sch everyday from 9am onwards to start familiarising with the 01 orientation games, OGL workshop programme and the 28th SC mass dance. not a bad way to spend my time.

must think of the next batch of J1s.


and so, my point in posting this extremely long chronicle of my activities so far? to explain why i've been so distant and busy lately. and to assure some people that i'm still alive and kicking and that i've managed to learn things, one of which, is managing my time properly. or at least trying my best not to slack too much.

special thanks to wei hao for bearing with me til 2am this morning, trying to solve problems of the SC webbie. :)

honesty is the best policy