there's this headache that has been plagueing me for the past 2 weeks and it's just getting worse. the pain especially escalates at night. i keep wishing for sleep but i dread closing my eyes at night cos i know i'm just gonna lie awake later praying for the pain to go away.

i can't even think straight when the throbbing happens which is really frightening.

maybe it's a sign.

++

i have only made a couple of gut-wrenching shitty please-let-me-die-now mistakes in my life so i guess this time, this mistake, i was overdue. tears keep coming but they just can't save me. don't get me wrong, i didn't break the law. but the fact remains. i made a terrible error in judgement that could possibly alter the course of my life. seriously.

i'm still thinking of worse things that could happen. but it's hard.