you just might make me believe

what's your mode of transport?
mine is the sun.
when it rises dripping from
the sea when it falls like honey on
the trees when it swallows up
clouds my soul moves with it.

mine is you.
when you lift your eyes
when you look straight ahead
when you try to speak my
heart moves with you.

be more.
11:27:00 AM
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
bop to the top
i was blog hopping and i came across a blog of an old friend. and in one of the entries she wrote: "i guess the fundamental problem for me is the fear of being mediocre. i dun wanna be "just average" in anything, it sucks realising that you're just like any other person. for me, it's all or nothing. i guess this fear is motivation but it's also a stumbling block. i've very often come to dislike things i cannot do well in but i know certain things are essential for me to do." i've always assumed that she has been leading a very charmed life- like what is there for a top scholar to worry about?

but the fear of being mediocre- that was a feeling i used to share. and then a few years back, suddenly, i thought being different, being better wasn't worth the sacrifices and the toll it brings on myself and to the people i love. i thought, "what was there for me to prove in trying to achieve all of that anyway?" it's all material anyway. maybe it was because i attempted to juggle too many things at once and that led to average performances. that shouldn't have stopped me. but in the end, i kinda let go. since then i thought ordinary is safer. no responsibilities is safer. to do a bit, the barest minimum to get ahead and then step back. that's it.

i doubt this now. sometimes i wonder why i put so much of the "all or nothing" effort in some of my work & assignments but not when it comes to rallying my own self.

of course these are just words. will i make good of my new year's resolutions of wanting to step out of my little box and be braver of new faces & changes? only time will tell.

honesty is the best policy